Admiral Patrick@dubvee.org to TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago
Admiral Patrick@dubvee.org to TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago
VOY 3x26: Scorpion Part 1
Is there some kind of Starfleet form I can sign to opt out of transporter hacks you “just came up with”?
Please, enlighten me with your wisdom.
Found it in “Unsaved Document 4.txt” LOL
MERCER: I have to pee. Bortus, you have the conn. BORTUS: Aye, sir. MALLOY: Why not just use the teleporter? GRAYSON: You pee in the teleporter booth? That's disgusting! MALLOY: What?! No! Of course not. Watch. [The bridge crew watch as Mallloy presses buttons on his console to initiate a site-to-site teleport. He then switches the main screen to display a view off the starboard bow where an amber blob of liquid materializes and begins to boil and freeze into an icy nebula] MALLOY: Ahhhhh. MERCER: Did you just...? Gordon, you're relieved. MALLOY: You bet I am! MERCER: No, I mean get out. GRAYSON: Wait a minute. I remember right after we got the teleporters installed, we spent two months in orbit around Galavar VI. During that time their moon mysteriously and miraculously developed a ring system. That was you? LAMARR: Yeah, I, uh, might have helped with that. ALARA: Me too. MALLOY: Yeah, and even Issac got in on it. ISSAC: That is impossible as I am an artificial lifeform and do not produce urine. However, I do require periodic coolant flushes which could be considered crudely analogous. MALLOY: And do you have any record of coolant flushes during that time? ISSAC: [BEAT] I do not. To use your parlance: You. Bastard. BORTUS: Is that why my Ja'loja is late this year? Dr. Finn was unable to determine...[INTERRUPTED BY MERCER] MERCER: [PICARD FACEPALM] Oh my God. [BEAT] You know what? It's fine. Gordon, you're fine. Return to your station and set a course for Galavar VI. We've got to go tell them their holy miracle ring is just a bunch of piss. It's fine. GRAYSON: Ed? MERCER: You know what they say: there's a good story and a bunch of idiots behind every warning label.
LoL I wouldn’t surprise if this is actually a real idea from the show’s writers. Fit the show so well. Though the show’s runners has made it clear that they do not want to use a teleporter because the story would be much more interesting without one or something like that.
Brilliant work!