• 0 Posts
  • 52 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 12th, 2023

help-circle
  • 54m here, married for 19 years.

    My wife has a very demanding career, so really needs her hobbies to let go of the stress. What I do is listen when she’s talking about what has her interests. Then if there is anything I can do to facilitate it, it will suddenly materialize. This is not always something expensive or even something material.

    Just before COVID the entire family got into playing D&D. Being an artist my wife went bonkers on painting miniatures. So I made sure she had all the paints and brushes she needed. Plus, the dining room, which is actually our “hobby” room, got a lighting upgrade

    How bonkers did she get? This bonkers and there are many many more:




  • Another parent on one of my kid’s team has a ridiculously huge Cadillac. It’s the size of a Suburban. She has one kid and not planning to have more.

    She made the mistake of making a backhanded comment about how my wife and I drive older cars to our faces. We have a 2014 Camry LE and a 2015 Lexus ES 300h. (Mine and wife’s respectively)

    So I asked her what type of contracting work she does. She looked at me with a bewildered expression. I went on and said; “well you drive a big work truck, I assumed you did construction or something.”

    The look she gave me could have melted steel.

    Just to be clear, I have a great deal of respect for the trades. She however is married to money, not terribly bright, and looks down her nose at just about everyone. So I knew that would hit a nerve with her.



  • Just finished Adrian Tchaikovsky’s “Service Model”. It was excellent. But be warned, if you’re looking for military, adventure sci fi with snarky AI’s this will not be your cup of tea. The author takes on modern societal issues in the setting of post collapse human society. Yes, I’m aware of the dichotomy there.

    If you do want snarky AI’s and adventure, then I recommend the following series:

    “Backyard Starship” series. I think it’s up to book 17 so far and the quality of the books have stayed pretty consistent. The prequel series “The Peacemaker Wars” is also pretty good.

    “Expeditionary Force” The quality does NOT stay consistent in this series and quite frankly, it’s not very well written. However, it’s like Lofthouse cookies, a lot of mediocre ingredients come together to make something great. I am a die hard fan of the series and highly recommend it if you want something that just removes you from reality for a while.


  • I was getting ready to leave my girlfriend’s apartment. We had gone out for a walk and ended up having dinner. It wasn’t a formal date or anything, we had been together, officially, for nearly 6 months by that point.

    We hugged and just kept hugging. Not petting or getting frisky, just holding each other and enjoying each other’s company for the final few moments of the evening.

    It just came out, I said “I love you.”

    She tensed and was silent for what felt forever. Long enough to start thinking I just either ended our relationship, or caused serious damage.

    Just when I was about to disengage from her, she relaxed looked up and gave me a very very nice kiss and said; “I love you too.”

    At the time I lived nearly 20 miles away from her and I do not remember the drive at all.

    That was 21 years ago. We have two teenage boys now and happier now than we were back then.

    In case someone wonders why I didn’t stay with her that night, it was a weeknight. We both had work the next day and she had an earlier morning than usual. The following weekend we spent the whole time together.


  • 54m here who is neurodivergent.

    Yes, I can have a conversation with a stranger, but that was not always the case. It took years of practice to get to the point where I could be in a group or one on one and actually contribute.

    The issue is, it takes SO much out of me. Where the people I’m interacting with have nice processing centers in their brains doing the bulk of the work for them in carrying the conversation. The processing centers that deal with social interaction are inactive in my brain and I have to actually think about everything going on. Which is a lot of energy to spend on conversations that really have no actual merit, other than just being social.

    Think of it this way, do you remember how much energy you had to expend thinking on the last difficult test you took at school? That’s how I feel after social interactions. Because I have to do virtually the same amount of thinking in that setting, that most people use on a Physics exam.

    Even with my wife and kids, I have to take breaks from them. While the years have given me habits and known behaviors that I don’t have to think about with them and keep our relationships healthy. I still have to do a lot of active processing to interact with them.

    It sucks, but it is the way I am and always will be.


  • As a parent myself, might I suggest using that as her middle name.

    When we named our two boys, we chose classic yet timeless names for their first, but did have some fun with their middle names. (and NO, they are not named “Ben” and “Will”. My god, I actually know 6 families that have two boys with those names). That way, we got to name them something fun, but they had good classical first names they could go by through out their lives. Our boys were born during the height of what I call the “din” period. Where a lot of babies have names that ended with some derivation of “din”, “dyn”, “den” or something along those lines.

    There is a very good reason why there is an entire subreddit on that other site called “/r/tragideigh”.






  • You have to watch a LOT more than that!

    Some other references:

    2001 A Space Odyssey

    Looney Tunes (An entire episode was dedicated to the Coyote and Road Runner). That show had numerous other references too, including an appearance of the Enterprise itself.

    Dr Strangelove or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb. (Dear John and Hi There for instance)

    Dark Crystal

    Dracula

    Star Wars

    There are many many more. The entire show was one big reference to something else.

    One of the more esoteric Star Trek references was the aliens urinating. In Star Trek, no one pees. The only time any time of shower/rest room is shown in the entire franchise is in ST:TMP when the Ilia drone appears on the Enterprise. There might be a scene in ST:TOS where Kirk comes out of a door with wet hair and a towel around his shoulders, but that’s it.

    About the only franchise/movie that I cannot think of a reference in Farscape is Stargate.







  • This goes back over 30 years. Was at a bar with friends after our volleyball league. The bar had two levels, with the second basically a large balcony that over looked the lower floor. We were on the upper level and arranged where I could easily see the tables on the first floor.

    A couple caught my attention, as I was people watching and it looked like there was some tension between the two. The woman got up to go the restroom, just as their drinks were being delivered. As soon as she was out of sight the guy put something in her drink. I immediately got up and headed for the restrooms and waited for her to come out. Fortunately, the restrooms were out of direct site of their table.

    When she came out I approached her and of course I received the standard; “I have a boyfriend.” I told her I didn’t care about that, but that I witnessed her “boyfriend” putting something in her drink. Then handed her $10 to buy a replacement on me and told her she needed to buy a new drink and not let it out of her sight and that I would not approach her again. I went back to my table.

    About 10 minutes later she showed up at my table, handed me my $10 back and told me I probably saved her life. The guy she was with was a new boyfriend and she had been getting bad vibes about him. She pretended to take a sip of her drink, then handed it to her “boyfriend” for him to try it as it was “sooo goood.” He flew into a rage, the got into an argument and he left her at the bar. He was driving. I offered her a ride home. No, I didn’t stay with her, two other people were riding with me that I also had to take home.

    She and I did become good friends. She asked me out and we dated a few times, but it was pretty obvious to both of us that it would never work. We stayed friends though and she did meet her husband in my friend group. They got married had a couple of kids, whom I was an official Uncle to. Both their kids are now married and have their own kids (yes, I’m old).

    The old “boyfriend” never showed his face again. So I have no idea what happened to him, if anything.