Dharma Curious

Fun fact, this is why I got laid so much in Mexico. I took so much straight dong on that trip I should have gotten frequent fliers miles

I’ve mentioned it on here before, I think. It’s one of my favorite stories. The look on his face was absolutely horrific and hilarious. I asked him several times afterwards how his pregnant sinuses were. He did not find it as funny as I did.

But not from Tennessee.

🎶I got a brand new pair of roller skates you got skint you knees, let’s get to together and touch together our peepees🎶

I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.

! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<

Can I know what that religion is?

I can’t find a source right now, because I just woke up and I don’t want to, so (Trust Me Bro, et al, 2024) but there’s a chance that quote is actually about Nazis!

A lot of French people referred to them as “the others” and would often speak sort of semi-codedly about them in writing and such so as not to piss off their new overlords. So that line may well not have been “I’m such an introvert that being around other humans is like being in hell” but instead “hell has delivered itself to my doorstep in the form of goose-stepping bastards”

I once had a conversation with a cashier in TN that started with a newspaper by check out saying something about remembrance day in England. I explained it’s basically like their version of Memorial Day. It ended with me having to explain what Europe is. A super abridged synopsis:

Me: It’s basically their version of Memorial Day.

Her: why do they need a different version?

Me: they’re a different country, different laws.

Her: it’s not really a different country if you can drive to it

Me:… What

Her: I mean, it’s basically just the same country

Me: you cannot drive to England.

Her: you can’t?

Me: it’s an island.

Her: I thought it was Europe?

Me: you also cannot drive to Europe.

I then had to explain what Europe was, how England is Europe in the same way Puerto Rico is North America. I shouldn’t have included that. Or tried to explain armistice day. It was a very long conversation that ended up going outside during her smoke break.

She was the second grown adult I had to explain Europe to. Tennessee has failed it’s children, y’all. I’m not being funny, and contrary to OP’s premise, I don’t really judge them for this. I judge the state and the school system. It’s bad.

If someone is cleaning a floor and I have to walk over it, they’re getting several sorrys and at least 2 thank yous, while I do that shrink my body to the side and putting my palms out towards them like a peasant not trying to be whipped by a landed gentry.

I’ve mopped professionally. It sucks.

… DAMMIT

Don’t forget the discrimination and frequent unreported assaults on queer folks and people of color!

Tennessee: The volunteer (to give up any reasonable expectation at a decent quality of life) state!

Any suggestions on a different instance to move to? Preferably something smaller. I switched from world to this one because of outages during the Rexxit or whatever the hell it was called.

The scene with the wounds on his hands, something like:

“does it hurt?”

“Not really”

Pours salt in wounds “Does it now?”

“No”

Breaks thermometer into the wounds “how about now?”

“A little”

“Aww! Poor baby!” Bandages wounds

That scene has played on a loop in the back of my brain for decades. It’s fucking hilarious. That and when the evil master reveals his name is Betty, and plays Big Butts. I loved that movie before I started smoking weed, and I loved it even more the first time I watched it stoned.

I forget who it was, but according to ancestry, I’m related to an old US president 3 different times (dad’s great grandad, dad’s great grandma, moms great, great grandma). And similarly related to one of the singers of the declaration of Independence, I think from NH on both sides of my family. By marriage I am also related to a couple figures that are very famous in my local area, but I’m not gonna name because self doxxing.

But for real, my family tree has no branches, apparently.

One from my childhood in the south, would occasionally hear the adults say “my ___ hurts worse than a whore’s knees on nickel blowjob day”

I love the idea of an officiant with total free reign. “You may now kiss… The grooms mother on the cheek. … Just playing, y’all. They gonna dance. Dance, boys!”

Good use for it! My best friend is a former Baptist preacher who still occasionally preaches at different churches, and he likes to use it whenever that comes up.

Mind if I ask if it was a religious ceremony?

Question. I am a computer dumb. Is this scary for me? Lol.

Came here looking for someone to have quoted this. I quote it to bigots all the time and it straight pisses them off.

How do you do this? I’ve seen it for years, but never thought to ask before. Lol.