If it was any smaller I probably would have gotten it, I felt bad for the poor thing. But this was one of those big 2ft tall bears and I just don’t have the room.

Dawn of War and its expansions are awesome, if you don’t mind playing a game from two decades ago.

Vampire Robot. Love me some B-roll.

It was right around the release of Star Wars Episode I, and the new pastor thought if he brought modern pop culture references into his sermon, maybe The Youths would sit up and pay attention.

The sermon was a whole thing about “being a Jedi Knight for God” and it was insufferable. I’m not sure time has ever gone by slower. I was twelve and absolutely not won over, I wanted to crawl out of the pew and die.

#ea8917, I like a nice orange.

Last weekend I was in the final stages of selling my house and there was too much stuff to do to really relax. This weekend I’m not doing a dang thing, I’m gonna sit back and watch SGDQ or maybe the Olympics or something and play video games.

Wow, I have such a vivid memory of my elementary school music teacher telling us the exact same story.

Andy, but they decided against it at the last minute. However, my dad’s brother and his pregnant wife really liked the name, and a few months later my cousin Andy was born.

Perv here. Gimme a plain cheese all day every day!

I found a barrel just like that at an estate sale a few weeks ago! Part of me wanted it just because it looked cool.

If there isn’t a minor league baseball team in Pennsylvania called the Squonks, someone needs to get on that right away.

Cathy Berberian - Stripsody

An opera singer and avant-garde music composer who made a song out of comic book sound effects.

Less strange, she also did an operatic cover of The Beatles’ Ticket to Ride. I’m pretty sure my ironic love of this has crossed over into completely unironic genuine love.

No joke, I think about “do all your shopping… at Wal-Mart!” more than I should.

Funnily enough I loved the Wet Paint song and looked forward to it BECAUSE they throw paint at the screen and I thought that was really neat. Just goes to show you how these little skits affect kids in wildly different ways

I-beam

If you don’t watch the video: it’s footage of an I-beam being created at a factory. As an adult, this is not scary. As a young child, this is terrifying. There is no narration, none of your Sesame Street friends are here with you. This is a large glowing letter I that the camera never breaks away from. It’s mashed and chunks appear to break off of it. The music is a ominous sounding piano with occasional trumpet bursts and anvil clanks. At the very end the camera freezes on the I-beam and we get two final crashing piano and anvil notes. The whole thing lasts less than a minute, and then we’re on to the next segment. There’s no context for what you just saw, no lead-in, and no one makes mention of it after.

It scared the hell out of me. If I saw this early in the morning, I’d be in an anxious state for the rest of the day.

According to my parents, it was I Got My Mind Set On You by George Harrison. I was a toddler and apparently loved that song.

But the first one I distinctly remember was the B-52’s Love Shack.

Dick Van Dyke comes from an era where it would be real easy to do a lot of bad shit without anyone ever knowing, and I hope he never did.

My local CVS tried a system where you get to pull a string in one room and a big bucket of water dumps onto an employee in another room, but it just wasn’t the same. It was missing that personal touch you only get with a one-on-one hose down.

Never forget: If a company doesn’t want you to have it, it’s probably a good for you.