wa wa wa

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 12th, 2023

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  • Basically any and all compliments make me feel like shit, it’s not a good quality of mine but its the truth

    Before I transitioned being called handsome hurt, I didn’t want that. Since I transitioned I have been called beautiful and sexy. I still feel bad, I don’t believe them. It’s odd because… I can kinda see what they mean? Like I personally like how I look sooo much better now it’s insane, but from other people it feels like a lie. Or else it makes me feel like I’m just an object to them, like an exotic sex thing, not a person.

    I work as a gpu/graphics programmer, and people say I’m smart and talented. I never believe it, ever. When I was young I did not do well in school, like special ed classes. That early life experience is still internalized. It’s why I push myself really hard at the detriment of my own health. I truly believe I am not a smart person despite recognizing why people think I am.

    Last year I was diagnosed autistic with Persistent Demand Avoidance sub type. I have read online that PDA people often struggle with compliments. Its super fucked tbh, I can never feel good about any accomplishment, nothing is enough, and I feel unlovable.










  • Stop trying to justify shitty behavior with disabilities, its wildly offensive and ableist. Disability doesn’t justify deadnaming. Just stop.

    This disability that hasn’t been in the DSM for over 10 years doesn’t mention anything about forgetting if someone transitioned. If you know the name is dead, don’t use it. For fucks sake its so simple.

    You wanna know what being gaslit feels like?? When the people around you keep making up shitty excuseses for why they can’t use your preferred name and make it out like you are the bad guy for asking them to use the correct one.


  • Im also diagnosed ASD and now you are trying to use that to defend deadnaming, just stop. Disability doesn’t justify deadnaming people. If you can’t remember their name just google it like you would for anyone else who’s name you can’t remember. If you know they don’t use that name anymore and don’t like when people refer to them with it, even if you can’t remember what they prefer you shouldn’t use the old name. Just don’t use the old name, its dead… let it be dead. Dont use it. Its so simple, dont use that name if you know they don’t want people using that name.



  • red tape

    I just make the change and put it in for review and then move on with my life… most the time its not turned away if its a good change. Even if there wasn’t any task or discussion before hand, and if it’s small enough I can just do it quick then I won’t be disappointed if people want it done a different way. At least for me it feels like people like it when I just make a decision and solve the problem instead of bogging them down with discussing everything before hand

    But yeah lots of times “simple” changes are not actually simple in the system as it already exists… and that can be frustrating but thats software…



  • Dyscalculia is a disability resulting in difficulty learning or comprehending arithmetic, such as difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, performing mathematical calculations, and learning facts in mathematics. It is sometimes colloquially referred to as “math dyslexia”, though this analogy is misleading as they are distinct syndromes.[5]

    What does that have to do with deadnaming people? Don’t try to use a disability as a shield for shitty behavior.

    I assume I will still get banned for deadnaming even though I’m innocently adding clarity to a conversation.

    Yes because that’s still deadnaming, that information isn’t relevant and isn’t needed in context. It’s not necessary to dead name and misgender someone to talk about things they did before transition. It’s completely unnecessary, and in the context of your example you KNOW they don’t use that anymore so its actually worse.

    now I’ve committed a crime of which I had no knowledge.

    No you haven’t no one is going to get mad about simply not knowing a change has been made. Its when you KNOW what they prefer and yet you still deadname them.

    this blanket condemnation of deadnaming is just dumb. it requires nuance.

    No it doesn’t



  • As far as I understand, Anarchism doesn’t mean no rules, it means no rulers. No hierarchy of people.

    The rules would be set up in such a way to actively discourage individual accumulation of power as much as possible. But a system like that could still have rules, just enforced collectively instead of power being parceled out to individuals. I think there are a lot of practical ways you can try to reduce power accumulation, like term limits is a very obvious example that is a concept we are familiar with. Or like ways of reducing wealth inequality can also be seen as a way of trying to reduce hierarchy.

    I don’t know all the theory, I honestly feel like that kinda shit isn’t always the most useful anyways. But there are obvious things we can do now to reduce hierarchy and they seem like things that would be good. Having an ideological stance that hierarchy is bad, and we should reduce it as much as possible… that’s Anarchism.