I love you, I thank you, you help. I have recently come to accept I have a fear of anger. In general, especially my owns, and rooted in past fear of my father’s anger. Past understanding, just rage allowed.

Anyways, here’s a scream I wrote he’s not ready for, and I can’t send for fear of misunderstanding and/or rage I know logically is missing key elements required.

Clever hahahaha

I am sorry. In rereading, I see my self centeredness. Finally.

I am not able to be professional in this, according to the top comment, I think. I will try still, in whatever ways I can, and maybe one day find a bridge to give me the space to explain my beliefs.

I used to have strong beliefs, but therapy showed me the scars that I carry into every decision I make as anxiety unknown. I know now, at least.

Words capture feelings that our stomach gurgles. I am sorry to not respond to you for so long, I try to communicate but the constant loop has changed direction and now every little bit is different and I need to hear all of it because I AM insane.

IGNORE THE ABOVE^^^ except the sorry?

I am grateful to you. I do not know you. But I am so glad to talk to you. I can’t stop feeling like a monster now.

ANYWAYS, nimona on Netflix is a very beautiful movie. I cried 3 times now, watching it twice. If you’d like to be friends, I am always here. Anybody, right now, this is my username. It’s here as me. This post is me. If I get banned, this dies. I am glad to have had this post.

Artificial intelligence is plateauing?

The human population is reaching a necessity for culling. We will die. Artificial intelligence, global warming, and partial political dysfunction leading to totality of power? Totality of power already exists, political dysfunction will lead to riots we will never start or… what?

Is there another side to this? Where will we be 10 years from now? Will health care still be tied into employment? Honestly, I need to look into how that helps a business and why. Will homes still be empty yet enough to house every homeless person more than twice over?

Bureaucracy, deliberate consideration.

I’m sorry. I am past drunk. I deserve every downvote and more. I’m just…. Crying. That’s all this is. Not poetry. Not any consistent logical progression or round trip, just… idea after idea, separate and lost but also pure in solitary conception.

Asimov and Herbert both agree that humans would and will use artificial intellligence to commit genocide of the non-aristocratic. All of us peasantry. The question, in truth, is who will make the choice and why will they make their selection? What will their parameters be?

There’s history, and there are generations of billions of humans that shaped it. Whyd they do it, what did they spread it into, and where are we now? What is it that provides the true future worth and value?

I have Debian. I use i3. I love vim and shortcuts, and emacs. I wanted to learn nonstop, I got pretty good at emacs. Used it for about 10 months, laptop died and I got a desktop. I’m just a lazy piece of shit lol when it comes to that I guess. I lay down all the time. But that’s not living. I want to live.

I am worthless. I am sorry. If I get banned now. I hereby accept it.

I hope I’ve proven your description of poetic wrong by now haha

I’m sorry. I can’t help but believe in naive hopes of understanding, of widespread passion that can be shared with at least, all people. Dogs love unconditionally, don’t they?

Someday, I wish. Just trying to figure out how I can make it easier, up the chances maybe. But today you’re worth the money you make. Simple as that, so meanings don’t matter. Makes it easier to be individual, but… belief is supposed to be separate, right? Where’s love supposed to lead to?

We’ve all got a voice inside, why can’t we just let them RUCKING TALK TO EACHOTHER? Is that really so insane? Fine, go fucking support your stupid fucking circlejerk communities and vote for trump or refuse to vote at all for the sake of your pop media interpretation of Palestine. Genocide? Yes. Will you vote for suicide because of it?

You tell me. Sorry. Not you, specifically, I’m sorry. But anyone reading, what are you trying to do? Don’t respond, I don’t fucking care. I’m not worth it. Let go of what you want for just a second, feel what you suppress, stop giving in to pain.

This is a question with a very unnecessary body. Is it ugly? “Jesus Christ,” you say? What do you care about? I am seeing a therapist, he’s recommended the book “introduction to family systems,” by Richard Schwartz and I read it through twice about a year ago. It’s still seeing this therapist, and I’m healing.

I had a question, you didn’t answer it. You focused on the body. I’m sorry I had so much to vent. I’m healing. I’m trying to express myself and hear what responses I deserve.

Thank you for your response, I really do look forward to hear if you do have any measure of value, and how you define that measurement. There’s logic and there’s matter, and I wander.

If you say you value efficiency over emotions, I feel sad for you. But I’d love to hear why. I make no assumptions, I really do look forward to your answer to the question you ignored to instead tell me I don’t belong.

What the fuck do you live for? Can you tell me that?

deleted by creator

Moderating against hate speech can be really difficult nowadays with risk of being sued. Anybody managing a forum or comment board of any kind has got to cover their ass, and censorship grows each day.

Theres definitely a lot more hate online now, though, people hold back a lot less in anger than they do in any other state.

I wish there were more opportunities to be parts of healthy communities. So sick of the, “that’s not what the topic of this community is.” Maybe I’ll try to make my own community, but again…. Moderations both necessary and really hard to do right. Lines to not cross are hard to make, and harder to stick to permanently.

I’ve got the 3rd gen and it’s lasted at least 3 years now.

It’s really nice to see what this community has to offer on lemmy. I quit Reddit because I refuse to use the Reddit app. I really do like the comments more than Reddit, and I’m a wannabe techno savvy Linux pro but I’m still working on basic motivation. Therapy included.

I’ve got Linux on Debian cause I needed the stability to handle my instability, I’ve read through the Linux command line and fell in love with emacs, and all I do on my pc is write, now. And pay bills, but that’s just Firefox. “Just the internet,” lol. It’s hard to try to contain, so I write.

Hope I don’t get banned for irrelevance. No hate here. Just rambling through.