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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 19th, 2023

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  • Here’s your monkey’s paw.

    Time goes on, and you overcome a lot of those anxieties with age. You get married, start a great job, buy a house, have a couple kids, and generally start feeling comfortable with life.

    Then in a flash you are back in your high school head, knowing that no matter what you do, you’ll never get the mix of circumstances just right to do it again, which means at best your kids cease to exist and at worst, you lose everything that gave your life meaning. And you can’t share that pain with anyone. And on top of that, you’re now mentally a 45-year-old in a teenagers body, and rather than feeling attraction to your peers, they now look like children to you. You’re full of confidence, but any attempt to use that confidence feels like taking advantage of a child (even though you are physically the same age).

    I think of that, because your wish is a horror story for me. Whenever it’s brought up, I think no amount of getting in on the ground floor of k-cups stock or bitcoin, no preventing catastrophes, nothing I could do would make me feel it was worth losing my kids. And worse, making them never exist.

    By the way, mine is “I wish for a blowjob.” I’ve got what I need. But I’ll always take a blow job (FROM MY WIFE, TO BE CLEAR).





  • A put a hole in the side of a helicopter that left it grounded for a week.

    I accidentally tapped it with another piece of the helicopter. I’m happily working on helicopters that are made of metal now, so no more of that nonsense.

    Edit: also, honorable mention because it wasn’t my fault, but I made a helicopter drop an external fuel tank when it took off… by replacing a light bulb. It was on the button that makes the helicopter drop the external tanks, but there are failsafes so it will only do it in the air. Apparently the internal switch got stuck, so the second the weight was off of the wheels CLONK… and a tank was laying on the active runway. Excellent.