Alternative Protein … because sourcing your nutrients somewhat humanely from a farmed food animal is WOKE PROPAGANDA

She looks like she subsists on a diet made purely of literal crickets and collagen injections anyway. Gives her that hollow, sinewy vibe she likes so much. And with all that lean protein just sitting there, why would she not give the freshly slaughtered Cricket a little nibble? Waste not, want not after all. Now that is the conservative way, Kristi!

[I hate that I wrote this out and that I’m supposedly her constituent.]

Oh

Oh no

[Ah yes, a solid B+ troll, using the “are you all right” trope to get a rise out of me. The following would be my “rise.”]

Oh for cripes sake, can you not see I was leaning into your trolling mindset with my first bit?!! Keep fuckin moving the goalpost, y’all are good at that.

[Yes, I clearly suspended my disbelief in trying to see what exactly is legitimate under all of what you’ve said so far. It’s a fascinating occupation you’ve taken on, Professional Troll of Dubious Intent (PTODI), but if even if you actually don’t harbor these shitty thoughts against people, you are literally, actually right this moment making the entire platform of discourse shittier. I guess I should step outside my human brain and understand that some purported humans just want to watch the world burn. Sigh… Fuckin PTODIs.]

Aaaaand now I wonder if you (and your friend) are experiencing a wicked case of DID. Please consult your totally real psychologist on that for more info on how to reign in your diverging personalities. (Wouldn’t wanna have to get your lawyer involved, you know, like if your online troll personality state starts wreaking legal havoc in real life. Who would be to blame? You?! Or you?!!?!)

Serious question. And making the forgiving assumption your “friend” wasn’t just a cover story. This troll business you opened up here, do you you actually believe and stand behind what you profess?

It took me all of 90 seconds to read through your comment history and confirm you are in some kind of pain, the kind that breeds misplaced anger at the lack of stability in your own identity.

You did, however, ponder one valuable bit of insight at the end of your recent AITA post (15 days ago) regarding your wife quitting her job and her not listening to you. Please follow your instinct here. Please do be open to your wife about going your separate ways.

Real talk, she will be better off without you. You act as if she’s holding you back, all the while it sounds like she’s been holding you up. It seems you are the one holding both of you back, and projecting this financial and identity instability onto others is illustrative of your own issues.

You don’t seem like a legitimate troll. You seem like you’re fighting for your own identity and you’re projecting your frustrations by asserting other people are deluded in knowing who they are and somehow insane for wanting a modicum of human respect. Yet I think you and many, many others like you, are those truly struggling.

I think you are currently showing a lack of respect to others because, deep down, you don’t respect yourself. And that is not okay. Needing and seeking help and direction from others, including mental health professionals, is not a blue-haired liberal thing, it’s a human thing. Please consider it.

Yup, I sure do! (Does this help me figure out what I am?!?)

Waaait… I am on Adderall for ADHD but also enjoy an herby comedown at the end of the day. So what does that make me? A filthy centrist?! What is this dichotomous drug-fueled political identity crisis I’m experiencing!!!

^/s

Nobody seems to like you here, Mister Bias Bot…

I must admit, I am a bit high right now, but I tittered heartily at your lighthearted turnabout, and then my mind, well, now it’s blown, because I now must ask… Does any particular ethnicity or racial identity have a statistically significantly higher birth rate than any and all other identity groups simply because, and with all other factors controlled for, they find themselves and people like them just so irresistibly sexy that they can’t help but have the sexy sex with each other, and because they are both so damn sexy they can’t even right now, and “we’re having sex can’t you see” and ask you to come back later to ask your weird sex questions???

Any particular one? … Anyone?

When you said “check for [spy] bugs,” I first thought you meant literal insecty bugs, and that made plenty of rational sense to me, because who wouldn’t come back with even more potent insecticide to douse those couches, maybe some Super-Potent Fabric-Penetrable Bug Annihilator, one formulated for Previously Penetrated Couches, in order to kill the very particular kinds of creepy crawly bugs that JD seems like he carries around on his creepy crawly body.

You know, I’ve been thinking … There’s gotta be another layer of complexity in all that projection vectored through his hating on “childless cat ladies” nonsense, other than the obvious “I’m scared of happily independent women” business.

Fleas. I’m thinking he has fleas. JD Vance has fleas. You know, because something, something, cats.

Bed bugs would also make sense. Him fucking furniture and all. Bed bugs are, after all, the herpes of the craft couch-coitus world.

Man, this is fucking rich, telling someone to hang with a better crowd, a crowd you couldn’t possibly know about, all the while insinuating they are trash and literally bringing them down.

Take a hard look at yourself, bud, and figure out which trash really needs to be taken out here.

Fun fact! If the talking pump has buttons (usually four on each side of the screen), press all of them from the top down right when it starts yammering at you, and one or more of these magical button presses should shut its trap!

I, too, hate being audibly ad-blasted at the gas station.

I think maybe it’s both? Too harsh of sentences (in some cases or jurisdictions) might contribute to a general police mindset which “conflates” the legal repercussions of rape with murder. This leads to or reinforces victim-shaming questions like, “do you really want to ruin their life over this?”

The rule of law and law enforcement need to strike a better balance in both directions I think.

Christ, is this why anti-trans people are so focused on this shit? Because they can only think of people in terms of their fuckability through their own experiences? And through their tunnel vision, anyone with complex sex gene and hormone biology, and who present differently than the anti-trans person’s gender or the gender they’re typically attracted to, is automatically a filthy gender-bending subhuman??

“I am hot man. This is hot girl. These here are neither hot men like me nor hot girl like her. EX*CUTE THEM!!!”

And not to mention tough for their UNDERAGE CHILDREN!!!

^/s

I get where you’re coming from, and you make a point with “deplorable” being meme-ified into some twisted identity thing. But I also think the collective “basket of deplorables” doesn’t apply here. Harris isn’t calling Trump supporters weird; she’s calling just him weird.

This does a few things: it keeps the focus on Trump, allowing supporters to distance themselves from the statement. The lack of attachment to any particular action, statements, belief, etc. lets a person think about it “nakedly.” Why is he weird?

Yes, we both know why, but this flips the script from the last 10 years from “here are various reasons why Trump is horrifying and could also be considered weird” to “Trump is weird, I’ll let you chew on that.”

It’s all in the delivery. Stating what he is without explaining why.

I think it’s worth returning a bit of agency to people in general to assess how they feel about that statement and come to their own conclusions. Edit: Especially because many of these people have attached themselves to Trump because they feel they have no agency otherwise. Could this be a means to cracking through the brainwashed masses? Something akin to, “wait, why am I idolizing this guy again?” Wishful thinking, yes, but being"plain weird" is such a broadly sweeping generalization that something should organically pop up in trump supporters’ brains, without our prompting.

The following was initially part of a reply to another person:

Maybe the simple, gentle, “everyday” language here is truly the point? There are so many things to attack about Trump, so many legitimate concerns for his fascist, racist, sexist, ad nauseum behaviors. We’ve heard it all before. But simply calling him weird could spark a little reflection in his supporters and would-be voters while obviously delivering a shock to Trump’s vanity.

It’s not something you can easily deny as a conspiracy theory or fake news or any other excuse about his words and behavior. The man is weird. And psychologically, I think it’s harder to defend a person described that way, or at least makes a defender get a little self-conscious. Trump being deemed weird is really indefensible, and I think it could work in deflating the cult of personality around him.

Not everyone can identify maniacal dictator rhetoric for what it is, and the power dynamic is clearly alluring to Trump supporters. However, knowing a weird person or even being called weird at some point is something almost everyone has experience with.

It’s uncomfortable. It makes you ask yourself what it is about a person that makes them weird and how you should deal with it. It prickles something very basic in the human psyche. So I think they’re on to something here. It might give supporters pause and will most definitely give Trump a complex.

Maybe your annoyance (understandable) is part of the point? There are so many things to attack, so many legitimate concerns, that simply calling him weird could spark a little reflection in his supporters and would-be voters, let alone the obvious shock to Trump’s vanity.

It’s not something you can easily deny as a conspiracy theory or fake news or any other excuse about his words and behavior. The man is weird. And psychologically, I think it’s harder to defend a person described that way, or at least makes a defender get a little self-conscious. Trump being deemed weird is really indefensible, and I think it could work in deflating the cult of personality around him.

Not everyone can identify maniacal dictator rhetoric for what it is, and the power dynamic is clearly alluring to Trump supporters. However, knowing a weird person or even being called weird at some point is something almost everyone has experience with. It’s uncomfortable. It makes you ask yourself what it is about a person that makes them weird. I think they’re on to something here. It might give supporters pause and will most definitely give Trump a complex.

Maybe she could spin that, too? Like she’s a bad girl, “Muy 'Mala” or something. That probably has too much of a sexist bent to it (in taken like she needs to be punished, she could probably spin that back at Trump again too, in that he needs to be punished), and probably too “sexy” in some of the more positive associations (romantically “baaaad”).

But overall, it could capture an audience who appreciates the inclusion of simple and understandable bits of a language a huge facet of American people speak on the daily. I don’t know, like friendly bits of inclusion flying back in the face of grotesque, obtuse exclusion?

Edit: I am partaking a bit and my high ass thinks I should frame this. Like the next pillar in the Character Counts set or something. OMG does anyone remember Character Counts?? Fairness and responsibility first come to mind.

Thanks for the link! The prudent thing would be for me to just not donate monetarily. As you said, no sense in jeopardizing my situation over what would maybe be $100.

As far as I can tell, political activity outside the building in which I work should be fine as a contractor employee and not a directly hired government employee. Maybe I can just offer to shuttle people to/from polling locations when the time comes!