my guinea pig herdleader likes when everyone gets to eat a treat.

she didn’t really get why the cat liked meatpaste, but she’d yell until I put out a treat for the cat. I often grab a little something to eat while I sit next to the pen with them while they eat their veggies. it makes them feel like I am part of their little herd. i get all the positive reinforcement grooming and nuzzling affection.

she’s just a little too greedy to give me her food, though.

“Hey, I need to use my lunch break to get away from work things/have some quiet down time. Give me a break and I’ll be better for the afternoon.” Subjects you don’t want to discuss: “Oooh, that doesn’t seem like a topic appropriate for work. What about [thing you are comfortable discussing, work thing].”

I highly recommend becoming very willing to spend time discussing one personal thing so they feel like they’re making a connection. I use my pets, but you can use a sports team as some others suggest, or a hobby you don’t mind sharing, like your progress on painting minis/knitting that sweater/book you’re reading/ latest album from favorite musician. Extroverts want a connection, give them a little and redirect to that thing when they probe.

If your boss persists in bothering you at lunch, ask if you should clock in since this is a work discussion, or if it’s really your personal time to use as you wish.

If they persist in bringing up wildly inappropriate topics like sex, say that you’re uncomfortable. Make it obvious they’re being weird at work. saying “I don’t like discussing my sexual preferences at work”, or similar, loud enough for others in the breakroom to hear should make them uncomfortable. if that doesn’t get you anywhere, there are protections in the US for some things. go to HR, explain you’ve tried explicitly telling them not to talk to you about whatever inappropriate topic, and it’s continuing. Call out that you’re feeling harassed by them continuing to bring up this subject that is not work related. HR might want to try a mediated discussion about it; 1 is reasonable, multiple is not.

if it gets to where you need HR and are worried about your legal rights, find a local worker’s rights lawyer to provide advice. they should be able to tell you what is reasonable effort from the company to fix the situation. be prepared to lose your job if it gets this far.

you shouldn’t have to discuss sex at work as small talk. it can come up in some jobs (medicine, sex work) but shouldn’t be in most workplaces, and there are protections from this kind of harassment in the US.

I’ve got a couple guinea pigs. one assumes the tarp is the limit of his territory, whether or not there’s fencing.

the other one regularly goes wandering, but respects the areas I’ve said are off limits. and she knows she has to get back to her territory - the tarp - to get any treats.

so it’s entirely possible this bunny recognizes his “room”, as defined by the new rug.

not the guy you asked, but I just got a trike.

1. I have balance issues so I’ve never been able to balance a regular bike.
2. carrying capacity with a basket.

there are definitely options to address the carry capacity with a bike, but I haven’t seen anything to assist with balance.

my grandparents have passed away now, but when i knew them they were unfailingly polite in public.

in private, Grandma had reservations about japanese people. i gave her leeway. Pearl Harbor was bombed on her birthday, and Grandpa went to Iwo Jima. i still felt i could bring a japanese boyfriend around, and as long as i was happy, he’d be treated right. Grandpa didn’t even suggest reservations. he took everyone as an individual worthy of respect until their behavior suggested differently.

my parents are in their 60s now, but i don’t have contact with them for other reasons. the last time i looked at my mom’s twitter i thought she had been hacked, the MAGA rhetoric she was spewing was so awful. not hacked, just an asshole.

thinking OP shouldn’t be in the comments is so weird. you should start a conversation but not take part?

in any case, i check the comments here to see what new interesting things i can learn!

ferrets are like kittens that never become cats. they get a little slower with age, but given they start like they’re running 3 times faster than the rest of the world, it’s not noticeable until you get a young ferret again.

my grandpa used commode, but i haven’t heard it from anyone younger. grandpa was a Depression era kid, and the family was poor to begin with.

he also said “shorts” instead of “underpants”, which caused my brother who only wore long pants some confusion and trouble.

you mean the thing where people, often women, have spent decades trying to expose the abuse happening in private homes, and trying to get it addressed?

because that’s what happened. women’s voices, speaking about marital rape and domestic abuse. getting the political power to change laws, to make it illegal, and give domestic victims the means to escape. it also surfaced the child abuse, again. it’s just not been buried again yet.

if one of these just ramps up the anxiety, skip that sense and do the others. trying to pick 5 things i can see is. …not useful. …in a panic attack. but closing my eyes and doing the others does help. it took a very long time before someone suggested skipping sight to me, so i share the insight whenever this method is suggested.

yep. I self-select out of dog friendly offices. if that’s a “benefit”, I can’t work there.

my cat thinks “up” and “down” both mean “get off my lap”.

she also recognizes that when I sit and talk to myself (voice chat) is perfect petting and cuddles time. she’s well known to my therapist and team because of zoom meetings.

and both guinea pigs and the cat have all decided that we do cuddles about 830pm. I thought it was “after work and dinner, sometime before bed”. but the number of times I look up to see what the fuss is, and it’s 830 and all 3 are looking at me expectantly… I assume they figure the time by daylight, because it’s not consistent when I get home.

for a lot of people in long term polyamory, it’s about intimacy, which sex is part of. even if you have relationships that are primarily about fun sexy times, you’re probably going to do a lot of scheduling to maintain those relationships, or find new ones.

cults often practice polygamy as a few men in power “marry” girls (teenagers or younger), and control the assets. this is a power imbalance that can easily be abused.

polyamory as a modern term is trying to differentiate from that. proponents emphasize enthusiastic consent (from all parties) and communication, and often will warn against any rigid hierarchy among the polycule members. that’s an ideal, so it’s certainly possible to find examples that fail, but the intent is that people are all equally respected.

I use onenote at work for all my notes. tabs and individual pages let me organize things so nothing is too long to scroll and find what I need. I can put text, screenshot, and hyperlink (to another part of one note or outside link), and a link to a pdf or excel file. I can add check boxes to whichever line items.

once I’ve got a nice set of notes, I can share either the entire notebook, the section, or just that page with the next person. or if they’re a bit of a luddite, I can print it out and maintain format (mostly). the most recent version broke emailing a page, but if you’re still running an older version of one note, it embeds it, with formatting, without being a pdf.

got something you need to paste in all the time? I’ve got one page where each text box is one copy/paste comment. clicking the header automatically selects all the text in just that box.

like OP, I tend to use one note at home for D&D, but if I can find something just as good I’m happy to try it. work leaves me with MS Office.