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Yo dawg, we heard you like engine braking so we gave you engine breaking in your engine braking!
Yo dawg, we heard you like engine braking so we gave you engine breaking in your engine braking!
Frakkin Cylons! I knew it!
Car companies cry in bankrupt
It’s just recliner theater, I tell ya!
Please run for congress. Now.
Saw a kid puke in the pool once on a Disney cruise. You shoulda seen those cast members come running in full hazmat suits and shut down the entire deck! A finely tuned machine, like swappin tires at the Indy 500. If Disney ever got into the military-industrial complex they would take over the world. Worth every penny.
It appears the market has spoken, thus you must clearly upgrade your ring cutting equipment.
That is, unless the poor sap acquired the titanium ring from Boeing or Airbus’ supplier. Then maybe you can use kindergarten stubby scissors.
If it’s on I-5 in the CA central valley, it’s doesn’t. It sits in the fast lane right next to its buddy blocking traffic for 50 miles. Then it can’t get it up when ol’ Tehachapi comes a callin.
For me it was the guy in slide one with the lil’ sebastian pony tail. Brick man is just the washed up kool-aid man after the royalties ran out and the brain damage kicked it from repeated head trauma (plus diabeetus). Ohh nooo!
Why on earth would we try to make snakes faster? Science has gone too far this time. What’s next, give them arms?
That hideous alien creature on the wing during a storm? Me. That’s me. I saved 19 bucks on my ticket and got TWO bags of peanuts on standby! The peanuts blew away one by one somewhere over Iowa but I had beef jerky backup, as all responsible travelers do.
That guy stuffed into a 1970’s Samsonite in the unpressurized baggage hold? Also me.
One time I mailed myself through USPS. If it fits it ships flat rate!! It hurt when I got drop-kicked onto a porch though. More emotionally than anything else.
Maybe I’m just physically intimidating, or a braggart, but I always get the full can of soda
The legroom may force me to drink it with my knees above my head, but still, chalk up a win for the common man
If you roll an average of 2.37 Cavendish bananas length of duct tape between your index and middle finger, you can make a sticky booger ball that tastes like an olive (or maybe boogers, depending on your pH and relative gastrointestinal ‘transit time’). As a limited time offer it also removes warts!
"Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
First I was excited thinking about South Canada and North Mexico, but unfortunately they screwed up the one opportunity in history to fix Oklahoma’s awkward ‘protrusion’, so I can’t with a clean conscience support and vote for this. Better luck next time.
“Fore-score and seven beers ago … fleshdyke is a legend” - Abraham Lincoln
‘Overrated’ as in exceeds expectations
They are referring to the meme about old German toilets having an ‘inspection shelf’ (Flachspüler)
If I am not mistaken, according to the grammatical scrolls, having a chin makes everyone … chinese